Riley and I got married on August 9th, and while we were already living together it’s been an interesting transition. While we’re very similar in our goals and aspirations, we approach things very differently. For example, he opens mail, and I… uhm… essentially have a mail tub like Jake in Brooklyn 99 (shout out to my fellow Nine Niners out there).
In this blog, I’m exploring the areas of life we have been navigating and how we have been making decisions as a married couple:
Allll Of The Money Talk
I have talked about money on the blog before, and things were amplified when we got married. Initially, we talked with our couple friends who were comfortable sharing the way to manage their relationships. It’s a sensitive topic to talk about with others, but it was incredibly helpful to see how other people manage their finances.
For us, we have found that the best option is for us to merge our finance. Riley is the money person in the family. While I have a healthy relationship with it, my mind doesn’t work in numbers. We really balance each other out, and while it’s been a learning curve, it’s been a huge stress reliever.
Decision Tip: Regular Touch Points
While we’re still sorting out the best way for us to make money decisions together, we have found that regular touch points has helped us keep on top of it. We have a sit down every couple of weeks to review everything that’s going on financially. It has made the process so much easier and less daunting.
Our Long-Term Goals
I have an incredibly close relationship with my parents and sisters. We see each other multiple times a week, and I like to rebound things off of them. During the wedding process, I realized how this habit needs to shift. While they’re my family, Riley’s my family now, too. Of course, my family will still be involved. But, Riley and I are building a life together and that has been a huge shift in mindset for me.
We have been talking a lot about our long-term goals around our living situation. While we appreciate Edmonton, the winters are rough. We have been exploring the idea of living elsewhere or leaving for the winter.
It’s been a process to get on the same page and ensure we’re both happy with the decision.
Decision Tip: Self Awareness & Open Communication
We have found that us repeatedly taking the time to explore what we want in life (and with our living decision) then sharing that openly with one another has been huge. Before, we’d have conversations about it, but neither of us had really taken the time to think about what we wanted. By adding a dose of self-reflection to the mix, we’re able to enter in the conversation with clarity and properly articulate what we want.
Riley and I are both home people. We absolutely love home. On the weekends, we drive around Edmonton looking at different homes. I’ll often ask Riley what he’s doing on the computer and he’s looking at real estate. He’s flipped multiple properties and loves the entire process.
Six months into our relationship, we built a custom home. What can I say? We knew from day one that we were getting married. During the process, we were incredibly lucky that our style is exactly the same.
Traditional, with farmhouse accents.
While we have been in the house for 2 years, we love to switch things up. While we’ll change out things like pillows, blankets, and decor, we recently had to change out our kitchen sink faucet. The one we had got with the house wasn’t working. We are obsessed with our apron front sink, so we wanted to get one that lived up to how much we love the sink.
During the home building process, I paid more attention to things like the color of the kitchen cabinet, and the positioning of the wainscotting. When it came to more functional things like the door hands and faucet, Riley was in charge.
When we hit up The Home Depot (is there really another place to get one?!) for a new faucet, I had no idea I’d be overwhelmed with options. Seriously, who knew?! I was concerned with the look, and Riley was concerned with the compatibility and functionality. So, when we were making the decision, I narrowed it down by design, then Riley went in and make the decision from the functions. It was the perfect balance.
We ended up going with the Veletto faucet by Grohe in a SuperSteel Infinity Finish. It was a similar style to our first one, so I knew it would look good with the sink. Since I’m always on dish duty (because Riley makes dinner) I knew I wanted one that has the spray head that you can pull down, whatever technical term you’d call that.
If you had told me 5 years ago that I’d care about the functionality of a faucet, or that I’d enjoy going to The Home Depot with my husband, I’d laugh in your face. But, I guess this is what the married life looks like? Hahaha!
Decision Tip: Know What You Like & What You Don’t Care About
When it comes to making decisions about our home, I found that it’s important to know what’s important to me and what I don’t overly care about. This makes the process a whole lot easier, especially if you’re on the same page! This clarity allows for more give and take when making the decision.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices
Believe it or not, Riley’s the one who’s leading the healthy decisions in our household right now. Ever since I transitioned away from fitness, I have had a deep resistance within me towards healthy living. While I know it’s a phase, it’s been an adjustment having Riley being the motivated one.
I know I’m not the only one who feels guilty when their partner is working out, and you’re not. I’m in an in-between phase where it’s rubbing off on me sometimes but not all of the times. Like, am I still eating cookies every day? Yes. Am I working more occasionally? Also yes.
When it comes to how we’re navigating this as a couple, it’s been nice to have an accountability partner. While we want to be healthy for ourselves, we also want it for one another. Riley has been super great at staying motivated and inviting me to join. It’s nice to have someone else who’s invested in your health, too. Ya know?
Decision Tip: Gently Keep Each Other Accountable
When I was in the thick of the fitness world, I was often asked how one could encourage their partner to join in or start their own routine. From experience, I now know being gentle and embodying it yourself is the answer. I feel like if Riley was negatively trying to motivate me or guilt me about my healthy lifestyle choices, I’d be hugely against it. It’s a nice balance between inviting your partner without forcing it on them.
I’m looking forward to seeing how we navigate other decisions that come up in our relationship. I want to know, what advice do you have for making decisions as a couple? Share below!