Are you having a hard time sticking with your self care routine?

You know you should make time for meditation, but never make it onto your pillow. You understand yoga will help with your back pain, but just can’t get to a class on time. You fully understand the amazing benefits of green smoothies, but always forget to get the ingredients at the grocery store.

I know why this keeps happening.

It’s not because you’re just someone who can’t sit still for longer than 30 seconds. Or because your yoga studio doesn’t have the best schedule. It’s also not because you have a food addiction and hate green things.

The choices we make each and every day are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. Your ability to stick with a self care routine indicates how you truly feel about yourself. Let me elaborate.

My self-care breakthrough made such sense

I once read a sentence that caused me to burst into tears. I felt like the words pushed me over the edge, and I sat crying uncontrollably.

The words?

Your presence is needed here.”

*Insert picture of Sophie covered in mascara with snot dripping from her nose*

At first, I had no idea why these words caused me to break out into a hyperventilating cry session. With the self-awareness I had at this point, I decided to ask myself why. I wasn’t prepared for what came next.

Suddenly I could understand what had been the guiding force for all of the choices I’d been making through my life until this point. My teary reaction was simply my heart’s cry for help.

Up until that point, I’d been moving through the world thinking my presence wasn’t needed. I was leading a life thinking that I wasn’t valued, needed, or appreciated.

All of a sudden, it all made sense.

My experience with self-harm at the age of 13 started to make sense. I was careless with my life because I believed my presence wasn’t needed. This opinion of myself perfectly explained my obsession at 16 with looking like a Victoria’s Secret model. I thought that if I reached those measurements, maybe my presence would finally be needed.

My inability to create space for myself and show myself true self care made total sense.

Looking back on the majority of the choices I’ve made, I see that they reflect this opinion.

The beautiful part? Awareness is the first step to grow, and within this experience, I was given an opportunity to grow. Did I want to navigate life thinking my presence wasn’t needed? No. Did I want to live a life where I didn’t value myself? Also no.

When we think poorly of ourselves, our actions reflect that opinion. If you’re having a hard time sticking to a self-care routine, could it be because you don’t think you’re deserving of self love and acceptance?

So, I have a question for you — one that may be hard to face…

How do you feel about yourself?

As humans, we do everything we possibly can to avoid pain. Our brains are actually hard-wired to keep us safe from it. So asking yourself the question of how you really feel about yourself can be hard. It can be messy, involve a lot of tears and ignite our fight, flight or freeze response.

But, we need to dive in and be present with the discomfort. We need to dive into ourselves. We need to start a conversation with who we are if we want to really understand ourselves and move forwards.

And you know, we ask our loved ones, coworkers and strangers on the street each and day how they’re doing and it doesn’t take too much effort. This isn’t too different. Instead, we’re turning inside and allowing ourselves to answer the question truthfully.

I’ve been through this experience so I know full well how easy it is to avoid it completely, say you’ll come back to it, and save it for another day.

Please make time to dive deeply into this answer for you.

I promise it will be the start of the most eye-opening journey of your life.