I don’t even know how to begin this post. This is my first time getting engaged, after all.
But, nonetheless, it happened! Sophie Gray will soon be Sophie Steele. You can call me SS for short.
I am so excited to share a more personal side of my life through this blog as I document the wedding.
But, I wanted to start things off with a huge truth bomb…
Initially, the thought of being a bride and planning a wedding freaked me out.
I’ve never done this before. I haven’t been planning my wedding since the day I was born. I don’t have a Pinterest board with every detail perfectly documented and organized. The bridezilla isn’t a stereotype I want to live up to.
Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to be married and grow old as fuck with Riley. The thought of us sitting on our porch, with grey hair yelling “what did you say???” back and forth warms my heart. It truly does.
However, the idea of stressing out over which salad dressing goes best with the leafy greens we’re serving at the reception is not what I said ‘yes’ to. I said ‘yes’ to Riley, not to being a bride.
Yet, as soon as the ring was put on my finger, the gears shifted and I became the bridezilla I was so afraid of. .
Where will the wedding be?
What type of flowers?
When are we going dress shopping?
Where can we get outfits for the dogs?
All of these questions began flooding through my mind. But, not the right ones.
And I noticed. So amongst the excitement, I quietly asked myself to take a breath and a billion steps back.
Why did I just say ‘yes’ to getting married? Like sure, for love and all of that good stuff. But, why was I doing it? Why did I just say ‘yes’ to Riley?
This is what I said yes to:
I said ‘yes’ to the life we’ve built together.
I said ‘yes’ to our nightly cuddles with King Rio and Lord Biggus.
I said ‘yes’ to the daily phone conversations we have when Riley’s heading home from work.
I said ‘yes’ to dog walks and taking turns picking up the poop off our famous poop deck (lol, jk, Riley does it every time).
I said ‘yes’ to being in a partnership where we respect and value one another.
I said ‘yes’ to believing in one another unconditionally and being equally excited about the other person’s life.
I said ‘yes’ to the give and take that needs to occur in any relationship.
I said ‘yes’ to love, and to choosing it time and time again.
I also said ‘yes’ to disagreements and the way he doesn’t put a garbage bag in the bin after taking it out. I said ‘yes’ to him leaving his dry cleaning at the bottom of the stairs and leaving the butter uncovered.
Riley said ‘yes’ to my panic attacks and the potential of driving me home across our country (again). He said ‘yes’ to my sleepless nights and irrational fears. He said ‘Yes’ to supporting me through my work with the uncertainty of what that looks like.
He said ‘yes’ to me, and I said ‘yes’ to him. There just happens to be a wedding involved.
I know that this sounds like a no brainer. I know marriage is what weddings are truly about.
But, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by how weddings are sold to us. There’s more information about the perfect wedding than the perfect marriage. We see beautiful wedding dresses instead of beautiful ways to communicate with our partners. We see bridesmaids holding puppies instead of what it’s like to support one another through a tough time.
As I settled into my reasons for saying ‘yes’, I felt it important to share it with you here. As I share our plans, I want to keep the conversation balanced. I want to share the excitement of the wedding while sharing the realness of the marriage.
Also, I know I don’t need to plan a wedding and could just go to the courthouse tomorrow. This post isn’t to bash weddings. It was to simply highlight the process that I went through when saying ‘yes’.
SO, I am excited to plan a wedding and share it with you here. But, I’m more excited about spending my life with the man I’m saying ‘yes’ to.