Did you follow @wayofgray when I used to post 5 times a day?
It’s crazy to think that I’ve posted less in this last year than I used to in a month.
Oh how things have changed.
I feel like I haven’t stopped talking about it, but if you missed it, let me fill you in. Over a year ago I had a panic attack on a flight home from New York. The panic attack resulted in a 38 hour drive home. You can see the full story here, but long story short: I was forced to look at my life and the real me.
The real me wasn’t stoked about being the fitness personality I was known as. She also wasn’t stoked that I was putting my physical health over my mental wellbeing.
With this transition, there has been a lot of confusion to the message behind Way of Gray. While I have touched on what Way of Gray is about multiple times (with this article here) it’s not only my social media channels that have evolved. I have, too.
I’d attached my entire identity to what Way of Gray was, so it’s taken me some time to land on what the real Sophie Gray is into.
So, here it is…. Here’s how I’m spending my time these days…
Crying With My Girlfriends In Moon Ceremonies
I put this first because it’s the thing I’m most excited about. I’ve never had a group of girlfriends. I always would laugh at the fact that I had thousands of women following me when all of the ones I went to high school with didn’t like me.
Reflecting back, I totally get it. During school I was in a dark place, and people don’t love hanging around super blunt, sarcastic and angry people.
SO YAH, the biggest change in my life has been my new found group of girlfriends. We’re all in similar paths in our life and have bonded through our love for crystals, the moon and talking about our feelings. Fuck, I seriously love these girls.
Moon ceremonies are something I have gotten into recently, and to put it simply: you gather on/around the full and/or new moon, sit in a circle, burn incense, pull tarot cards, journal, meditate and most importantly, you cry. Crying isn’t a prerequisite, but it is encouraged.
I never truly understood the importance of girlfriends until I found these women.
Going years without close friends, I understand how difficult it can be to form these relationships. I created our Way of Gray Facebook Community Group exactly for that reason. If you’re in need of love and support from your fellow sisters, add yourself into the group here!
Reading Self Help Books
I always would claim to be a slow reader. I used this excuse to get me out of reading, but forget that. I am alllll about those self help books. I’ve also found that it’s been a beautiful way for me to take time for myself. I am also all about phone-free time right now, and reading is a perfect substitute.
Some of my favourites include You Can Heal Your Life, The Universe Has Your Back and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.
Eating Delicious Food
I have always loved food. When I was young, my mum would have to bribe me with lunch to get me to leave the house.
My love for delicious food took a turn when I got into clean eating. I went to school for nutrition and it completely changed the way I felt about food. I started viewing it as the thing keeping me from looking a certain way.
Clean eating is still a huge part of my life. And no, I don’t have any exact percentages or care to discuss the concept of cheat meals. But, enjoying food is now a priority for me.
If I want a cookie, I have a cookie. If I want a green smoothie, I have a green smoothie. If I want delicious pizza, I’m eating delicious pizza.
The only thing my diet doesn’t have room for these days is a shitty relationship with food.
This isn’t about disrespecting my body or telling you to eat like shit. For me, I have formed a relationship with my body and through this I have found MY balance. I’ve learned what my body likes and doesn’t like. I’ve learned what it can tolerate in small amounts whilst ensuring that it’s still taken care of.
The best piece of advice I can give when it comes to finding this balance is to start a conversation with yourself. Become your own best friend. Get to know yourself and your body.
Guilt Free Living
I cannot begin to explain the relief I have felt over this past year not having to worry about getting the perfect six pack selfies for @wayofgray.
I know no one ever directly put this pressure on me, but it was still there.
This last year has been filled with delicious food, a lighter workout schedule, massages, millions of hours at the dog park, family dinners, new niece cuddles and simply living.
My obsession with Way of Gray’s image before had me miss out on all of these things. They may sound simple to you, but for me it’s been an absolute life changer.
It feels like I can breathe again.
My friends (omgggggg, I can say I have these now!) know I’m the journaling obsessed one in the group.
My advice always sounds something like:
“Tune in. Ask yourself.”
I don’t say this because I don’t care to offer up advice, but because I stand strongly in the belief that we know the answers to our questions.
Journaling has been the one tool that has radically changed my life. I turn to it day in and day out to work through my experiences and get to know myself.
[I even put together 5 questions you can journal about that will help jump start your self acceptance journey. You can get them here.]
Before signing off here, I just want to thank you.
I want to thank you for being here throughout this transition. It’s been incredibly hard for me to step away from what @wayofgray once was, and I am so grateful for your presence and patience throughout this change.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.