Social media has created this new opportunity to peak into the lives of others. We can open the Instagram app and feel close to the people we’re following. Yet, social media also creates an atmosphere where we can completely curate what we share. It can seem like we’re seeing the whole picture, but we’re often not.

I have been sharing my life online for just about 6 years. It has taken a lot of self-exploration to reach a place where I can share my insecurities and less than ideal parts of my life. Yet, there are still some things I’m uncomfortable with sharing. While these things aren’t things I want just to offer up, I think it’s important to share them to paint a more realistic picture of my life.

So, here it goes:  

I Feel Like I Failed Rio As A Puppy Parent

Rio, my cocker spaniel, is my pride and joy. He’s my absolute best friend, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. That being said, he’s really poorly behaved. Rio can untuck our kitchen counter stools, jump up on them, then onto the counter and into the sink. He does this multiple times a day, even when I’m sitting at a stool on the other side.

He opens doors, eats leather, opens the garbage cabinet, and steals any food he can get.

He also barks, a lot.

I have tried everything to get him to stop, but he is incredibly intelligent. For example, he learned how to open doors (with handles), so he was able to escape the mudroom we lock him in while we’re away. He’d open the first door which went into the pantry, then the second door that goes into the rest of the house. To stop his breakouts, we put a lock on the door. A couple of weeks later, he learned how to open the other door, even though it was a sliding one. We then put a lock on that door. He was still able to open it. We ended up having to put a gate up to block him off completely.

Riley and I often joke that Riley’s a self-programming robot. He watches us do regular human things and programs his brain to do it, too.  

Jokes aside, I feel like I failed him as a puppy parent. I don’t know what to do to stimulate him mentally, so he doesn’t turn to mischief.

That being said, Rio is kind. He’s cuddly and would never bite anyone. He’s affectionate, and I’d choose that over an overly well-trained dog, any day. If only, he could be both.

I’m sharing this because I don’t want to shame you for whatever habits your furry friends have. We can still love them, obsessive barking, and all.

I Feel Irrelevant

Yaaaaah, this is hard for me to admit… I feel irrelevant on my Instagram channels. I built up my following years ago by sharing workout photos. When I stepped away after the flight of panic, I had to reassess my entire online personality.

Since making the switch, it’s hard not to be discouraged by the tens of thousands of people unfollowing. At times, I feel like no one is listening.

I feel like this may seem like I’m unappreciative. I absolutely do focus on the people who continually show up, read what I write, download the DiveThru app and listen to the SophieThinksThoughts podcast. I am so so so appreciative for the support I do get. But, I’m all about keeping things real, and sometimes my mind likes to focus on the people who aren’t listening.

I’m not saying this to have you feel sorry for me, I think it’s important to highlight the reality behind what we can create on social media. If anything, I’m hoping this makes you feel a bit better about whatever unkind things your mind is telling you.

I’m So Passionate About Journaling, It’s Frustrating

Journaling saved my life. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s the truth. I love it so much that I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that not everyone is journaling. I know first hand how amazing it is, and I want everyone to experience the fantastic benefits of journaling.

I receive countless messages each and every day asking how I got to where I am. I’m asking how I reached a place where I can look in the mirror and not be consumed by negative thoughts. I’m asked how I quieted my mind and got comfortable with my feelings. I’m asked how I move through life feeling confident in myself.

Journaling.
Journaling.
Journaling.

BAAAAAAAAH, IT’S BECAUSE OF JOURNALING.

I just want to shake everyone and scream about journaling in their face.

Journaling can help you get to know yourself. It can help you confront your whole self and love the person you are. Journaling can help quiet the unkind thoughts in your mind and help you process your emotions. Journaling can boost your confidence, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. JOURNALING IS THE BEST THING EVER.

Ugh, do you feel my frustration?!

PS.. You can download the DiveThru app here and get started for freee!

I Hate Exercise

Since stepping away from fitness in June of 2016, I have had a tough time getting into an exercise routine. I just… hate it.

I haven’t found the exercise routine that lights me up, and it makes me feel hella lazy. I want to take care of my body, but I associate exercise with my incredibly restrictive time as WayofGray. It’s hard.

I am finally reaching a place where I’m easing myself back into a routine (1 day a week, then 2 days a week and so on). But, I’m still like blah.

I’m Lonely

I have just about half a million followers on the world wide web, but I’m lonely. How hilarious is that? While I have a loving relationship, a supportive family and meaningful friendships, I spend a lot of time alone. It’s incredibly isolating. I find myself getting caught up in my head, and I can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t be the case if I were around people more often.

Again, social media creates a curated world. You could look on my channel and never once think I’m feeling lonely. Yet, I’m writing this on my couch, with the TV playing, patiently waiting for people to be off work so I can be around others.

If you’re lonely, I want you to know you’re not alone. I will be sharing an article on how I combat my loneliness in the coming weeks, but until then, my advice is: join a club/class/event. Go to a workout class at a gym and make an effort to talk to people. Join a support group about something you’re working on. Volunteer about something you’re passionate about. Actively create opportunities for you to connect with!

Okay, there it all is… If you take away anything from this blog, I want it to be that… It’s okay to be you – even if that version is not okay. You are okay, exactly as you are right now.